Mom

Hardest post ever.  Why?  Cause every time I start this I start crying.

My Mom died, July 23 2014.  Life is hard without your Mom.  I'm old - 57 - I am luck in that I have had my Mom this long but right now I don't feel lucky.  I just miss her.

OK enough of the self pity - Mom was a great lady.  And like most great ladies she was a quiet giant.

I don't want this to be a post about when she was born or when she got married but more about the kind of Mom she was.  Which, in my opinion, was the best ever.

Growing up, Mom was always there.  Dad didn't want her to work, that is have a job out side of the house, so she didn't.  I grew up in Oak Park, IL, My first 13 years were spent in the same house.  The school I went to was Whittier Grade school and for lunch everyone went home.  No busing, no lunch room - you went home.  It was great to be able to go home, have Mom make your favorite sandwich, give you a hug and then go back to school to face the rest of the day.  It was a simple thing but to a kid it was everything.

Mom always made birthdays special and the holidays fun.  Mom was a quiet woman - a woman in the back ground making sure everything went smooth and that everyone was happy.  She cooked all the meals, cleaned the house, took care of three children and at the end of the day scooped up the ice cream for dessert.  We were to be home when the street lights came on or when the whistle blew.  She never got mad but if you did anything wrong she "had a bone to pick with you".  I hated disappointing her.

My Mom taught me how to be a Mom.  I guess that is true for most people.  We raise our children the way we were raised.  I yell more than my Mom did but she taught me how to hold on to my children with open arms.  Let us be kids - all the while guiding us to make better choices.

Mom supported me in my few activities.  I was involved with the city park and rec theater group.  Grade school kids putting on plays for our parents.  Mom dragged my Dad to my first one.  She knew how important it was to me.  After that Dad came willingly.  We weren't that bad.  She helped me memorize my lines and made sure I was at every practice.  When we moved away she suggested I get involved with the local theater group but I was too scared.  That was the end of that part of my life - it was ok - Mom didn't push.  She knew when to back off and let us find our way.

Mom taught me how to sew.  I love to sew.  She would just help me through each project.  I hated zippers and she would just put them in for me.  Later she told me she hated collars, so I put those in for her. When I moved away, I finally got the zippers down but Mom quit sewing.  She tried to teach me how to knit.  She was very good at it.  Her mother taught her.  But I was too tense.  I would get the yarn so tight on the needle that you couldn't put the other needle through.  I would give it to her and she would have to unravel a couple rows to fix it.  She gave me the love of crafting.

l

When I was 16 I became acquainted with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I wanted to join the church at that time by Mom said no.  She wanted me to explore other churches first.  Make sure this was right for me.  I could see her wisdom - I was only 16.  But when I was 18 and still wanted to join the church, she didn't stand in my way.  If fact, she supported me all the way.  Allowing me to have meetings in her house and even learning my beliefs.  Mom had lots of faith.

After I got married, Mom is who i called.  "How do you know your in labor?"  My first big question - she told me to get to the hospital.  How do you cook a roast?  How do you get spaghetti stains out of curtains?  What is the recipe for....?   We talked at least once a week.  That was before cell phones and it cost to call long distance.  She was the first person I called when my husband left me.  Who else do you call when your heart is broken?  She was my rock.

 She was there when each one of my kids were born.  Helping with the other kids, spoiling them rotten and then leaving.  After Darren was born and on the way to the airport we had to stop at the local store.  We went to the candy aisle and she told the other 4 children that they could pick out any candy bar they wanted.  Oh, they got so excited and even took their time deciding - they had to get just the right one.  She had so much fun watch them, that after they all made their choice she told them to pick another.  After the forth pick I started to stare at her and she just smiled and said I couldn't say no because she didn't get to see her grand children that often.  She truly loved watching the smiles and excitement on my children's faces.  Then she got on the plane and went home.  Leaving me with four very hyper children and a baby.  She taught me how to be a grandma!!!!

The last four years of her life, I helped take care of her.  Dad did most of the work but I pitched in when I wasn't at work.  She suffered from dementia and well, old age.  She had her good and bad days.  I think more good then bad.  She didn't like having to have people help her but she didn't fight with you.  She tried to make things easy for the other person.  Once again always thinking of others, above herself.

Thank-you Mom for teaching me - everything.

I love you and Miss you a lot!!!