Pressures on the Parent

One never thinks about all the pressures a parent is under. What pressures you might ask? Well, in the beginning it is little things - like - what does that cry mean? Wet? Hungry? Cold? Hot? Sick? Oh, I don't know - give this kid to Dad to hold for awhile, I need to use the bathroom for then next half hour or so. (Secret break time for Moms)

Next it is coming up with "real" answers to WHY? I know I am the most amazing person alive and yes, I did go to college and took "Buttoning" and "Shoe tying" and "Zippers". I can do all that stuff without even looking, but I don't know why you put peanut butter on the bread before the jelly , you just do!

Then comes the more difficult things, Bed times, the right amount of sugar in a diet,- a diet, -good friends, how to tolerate the not so good friends, school, chores, homework, learning the stuff again to help with the homework, ---What did you say?,-- Not in this house!! -- I've told you over and over what to do and how to do it - "Listen to me" - I don't think they will ever know what they are doing!

But after the Missions, after the,- been gone away to school, -comes just about the most scary moment in a parents life. ---MEETING THE GIRL/BOY FRIEND. The high school boy/girl friends are a snap. Or we pretend they are because the odds of that person becoming a part of the family is pretty low. Not zero, mind you (Nikki is a great example) But if you meet the friend in high school years , you have the advantage. You are still ruler over curfew.

But meeting the "friend" for the first time is highly nerve raking. First off, you have to care what THEY think of YOU. This is something totally foreign to you. In all the years your child was growing up you didn't care at all what the friends thought of you. ("I don't care what Billy thinks, in this house we don't do that") But, your child seems to like this person, so you have to put your best foot forward and not trip over it. And at my age it is getting harder and harder not to trip. You have to start small with the questions, stuff you really don't care about -How many children in your family? --- I don't care how many brothers or sisters - I care - if they are active members of the church and not mass murderers. But how do you ask that nicely?

I must say that I have a secret weapon - I call him DAD but others call him Grandpa. He is great!! I guess if an 81 year old asks, you can't be offended. (a note - his 82 birthday is just around the corner) I love it!! And he thinks of stuff I never thought to ask. He is the best information getter alive!!

So I have now been subjected to this terrifying experience more times that I care to remember. Three of my children have married. I am afraid to ask my current in-law children just how dorky they thought I was on our first meeting. Rumor has it they where just as scared as I was - but I don't believe it. This past year I have met two more boy/girl friends and yes, I used my secret weapon and yes, I asked dumb questions. I hope they didn't think I was to dorky - maybe just the right amount of dork. All in all I am impressed that my children brought home very nice, strong, thoughtful and pretty people.

Maybe my kids know what they are doing after all?