19 years six months and counting

This week I have been thinking of all the things that I have experienced in the 19 years I have been driving school bus.  So should I start with the big things or the small?  How about I just put them in the order they come into my brain.  If you don't like that  - oh well - that is what I am doing.

I have always said that you are not an official bus driver until a child pukes on the bus.  I am an official bus driver - at least 4 times over.  I will not give you an account of each time for I do not wish to gross you out.  I will say that I do know of one driver who has been driving for 17 years and is still not an official bus driver.

I have had a child have a seizure  on the bus and a child choke.  The first was not a grand mall seizure but I do remember botching the whole - taking care of the kid - thing.  I was young.  The child who choked - I did help.  Thanks to our training of the Heimlich maneuver.  I had a small second grader come up and tap me on the shoulder - I quickly yelled at her - "what are you doing out of your seat?"  she quietly told me that "Tony" couldn't breath.   UGH!!!!  I helped him - The next day I got this note written on a torn piece of paper that read  "Thanks for helping me to breath"  Cute!

I have been in a couple of accidents on the bus.  Both of them were not my fault.  First one - I was stopped letting off a child when a 15 year old girl put her car into a 360 spin and stopped as she creamed the side of my bus.  The other accident - I was hit by a house.  Yes - I was hit by a HOUSE.  One of those mobile homes -  a double wide.  So actually I was hit by half a house.   That was a fun radio call - "Base - I just got hit by a house"  I was called a home wrecker for months.

I did a 360 on ice in a bus.  Big area - no one around.  Don't really want to do that again.

I sank the bus in mud - up to the step.  That too was a fun radio call too-
"Base - I'm Stuck"
"What do you mean - stuck"
"I'm in the mud and I can't move"
Took three pick-ups to get me out.  The road was closed for two weeks after that and the next year they paved the road.

I have had to chain up the bus 3 times in 19 years.  The first and third times I chained  up all by myself.
The second time it was because I got stuck in the snow going up a hill.  That made me mad because I have been driving that hill for years and I just let some radio talk get to me and - well - it was my fault that I got stuck.  Our great mechanics came and chained me up and I got up the hill after that.  Ice is no fun to drive on. 

I wiped out a mail box once backing up.  We won't talk about that.

I had a kindergarten kid bring a hundred dollar bill to school.  Back when the drivers seats were not tall - this kid was tapping the bill on my shoulder saying -"look at my funny dollar"  I grabbed it and put it on my lap.  As I looked down - I gasped - that was a "funny" dollar.  Turns out this kid wanted a quarter to buy popcorn and his Mom said no.  He just went into her purse and got a "dollar" anyway.  It was rent money and she was thankful I got it back for her.

I have had only one fist fight on the bus that I can think of right now.  And I had a child -"Bill"- threaten me.  Had a second child - "Sally"-offer to pay  "Bill" twenty dollars to do what he threatened.  I never saw "Bill" again and "Sally" learned a lesson she will never forget.  Thanks to her mother.

I have had the news crews come out and film me over a child bringing a scope on the bus.  That has to be the biggest most stupid thing ever.  I had a child - "Steve"- bring a scope to school.  The day before another child brought a pair of binoculars to school and he was the center of attention.  The kids on the bus were all asking to look through them and he was "popular" for that ride.  So "Steve" brought the only thing he had - a scope of a rifle - to show off.  Only the kids didn't pay that much attention to him.  He made the mistake of looking through it as a little girl was getting on the bus.  Her mother noticed "Steve" looking at her daughter.  All was OK until the mother kept thinking of what she saw.  The more she thought, the more her imagination took over and the more scared she got.  She called the school - the principal came out when I got to the school and took the scope.  But the Mother was not satisfied.  She called the district office.  That day the district office were holding meetings of greater importance and she couldn't talk to anyone she liked.  So she called the news station.   Lucky for her it was a slow news day.  Of course, it was only a few weeks after one of the school shootings and this news station went with it.  They filmed the mother standing at her daughters bus stop - me driving up - her daughter getting off the bus - me driving away.  Don't worry - "Steve" was protected through all this stupidness. But that was one boring, hyped up news story.

I am known as the meanest bus driver at my school.  I am proud of that title.  My kids are safe!!

I have been reminded that I have also given blood for my job.  So my two "accidents" left me without any cuts or bruises but I did slip in the bus parking lot - leaving much DNA behind.  I slipped on some ice doing what we call a walk around- checking tires, lights, oil leaks, broken windows, or anything out of the ordinary.  I went flat on my back and my head snapped back.  I never knew what hit me - it was that fast.  I split my head open - lots of blood.  My boss called 911 and a very nice mechanic sat in the snow with me till they came.  They strapped me onto a board-neck brace and all - and off to the hospital we went.  I will say right here and now - that will never happen again!  The board strapping thing.  They strapped my head down onto the board and that is where I split my head - OUCH!!!!   I ended up with two staples and a few days off of work.  Lets here it for workman's comp.  People were nice to me for awhile after that.  I still get offers to help me across the ice.

Out side of all the little everyday things - "Mrs. Durtschi - Tommy's looking at me!"   "Mrs. Durtschi - I'm squished!"  That is my favorite.  Three kindergarten kids sitting on a bench made for 3 kindergarten kids and they are complaining that they are - squished!  I tell them - wait until they are in high school - then they will know what - squished - is.  I wish I could recall some of the funny things I get to listen to.  Guess I'll have to start writing that stuff down.  

I have also been asked to include my bus Road-e-o record.  This is a fun competition that most school districts across the United States participate in.  Ten driving skills are tested - Parallel parking (in a bus of course) - backing up into a narrow area - turning right without creaming anything - picking up kids properly - driving straight - offset alley - railroad crossing - diminishing clearance - curb line - stop line-some of these may sound easy but believe me they are not.  I have earned my first trophy  - ever - by  participating in the Road-e-o.  I have come in third in State and have taken a couple of seconds in regionals.  I even came in first one year locally but because of budget cuts I have nothing to show for that.  It is fun to compete and improves my driving skills in the process.

So now to my latest adventure.  We are two days into spring - spring - you know the time of year when we get rid of snow and things start to bloom.  Well, when you live in North Idaho, you learn that winter doesn't give up easy.  So two days into spring we have a snow storm.  As I am driving on my route I am stopped by a tree.  A tree hanging over the road.

No real place to turn around .  I call into our base - and I am told to wait for the highway district to come and clear the tree.

I only had to wait about fifteen to twenty minutes  - but the hard thing to watch was three cars that just went around me and under the tree and on their way.  This tree would have creamed my windshield if I kept going.  Sometimes being a big rig isn't a good thing.

But you have to admit - snow is pretty.